I never realized the power of words and how they can move someone to action until I started to blog about my Triathlon experience last year. I now know, more than ever before, how words are powerful and just like they can motivate someone, they can do the exact opposite. See, I am usually pretty optimistic, strong and don’t let too much shake me up. However, even the strongest person can be affected by someone’s negative words.
About a month ago, I wrote about how that trainer told me some things that lead me to feel like he was a douche bag. Some of my friends thought that my description of him was perhaps a bit harsh. But no one knows how that man’s words affected me. I tried to think, “oh, forget him… he couldn’t do a Triathlon if he tried…. I will take some of what he said but will trash the rest”, however I have not been able to shake it. For the last month, when I look in the mirror, I no longer think, “ oh man, I can’t wait to see how much muscle is under this fat” or compliment the good things about myself and acknowledge the bad and then remind myself of my plan. Now when I look in the mirror, I see all of the negative and think very negative thoughts. I have not even been that motivated to train. I have often wondered, “What’s the sense? I’m obese anyway, this training is not helping me, and maybe I should just focus on doing something else like that man said.” See, that is the power of negative words. They are powerful. They can break someone. They can have you thinking negatively and doubting yourself. No one realizes how harsh their words can be to someone, even if what they are saying is true. I try to always turn a negative into a positive and motivate people however I can. I also realize that feelings are not right or wrong, they are individual. So, if I think someone’s comments to me is harsh and I think that they are a non motivating douche bag, then that is just what the hell he is.
I have been struggling to train, to eat healthier, and to keep in mind all of those things that that man said to me. One would think that it is easy to just shake it off, but it’s not always that easy. Words are powerful, man. POWERFUL.
Today I made the decision to get back on track with training. I have a plan in place to decrease my body fat and tone up. I will be a Triathlete again this year. Fuck with that man said. I have a little less than 8 weeks until race day.
Don't EVEN let that creep stay in your head. The only person who can control how you feel and how you react to others is you! Success is defined by each one of us and often the goal post has to be adjusted because LIFE just gets in the way. You are being truly blessed right now...dreams do come true...and the Tri goals you set for THIS year have nothing to do what the boogie man has to say or anybody else. YOU GOT THIS!...whatever it is...and you know you have a cheering squad.
ReplyDeleteLove you gal.
This REALLY annoyed me. REALLY!
ReplyDeleteLike...INCENSED ME!
Becca.. you inspire.. hell you got me to get over my fear to learn to swim.. YOU rock.. you completed triathlons and you can do it again.. YOU got this.. hell you come out to cheer folks on after a night of partying.. you are an amazing woman & friend.. YOU ARE AN ATHLETE chica.. don't let anybody take that away from you.. We will NEVER comply with the standards they set.. set your standard.. and rock it out!!!!
ReplyDeleteStay encouraged and please don't let him or anyone else discourage you. You are already a triathlete and if you so desire you will be again. No one can take your accomplishments from you. I truly admire you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that someone felt it necessary to discourage you from a goal. As Travel Diva said, dont allow another persons words to discredit you from accomplishing something you really want.
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to kick his azz??? Because you KNOW I will!
ReplyDeleteYou keep on running, swimming, biking, or skipping through the woods if you feel like it. And the next time that MF opens his mouth tell him you have friends that will THUMP his azz if he bothers you with his negative shyt EVER again!!!
Keep your head up! Some people are unhappy in the space they are in and that sometimes spills out onto undeserving others. Keep your commitment and dedication because he is a non-factor when it comes to YOUR LIFE. I wish you all the happiness your heart can hold. In the words of my teen daughter, "brush that HATER off and keep it moving"! From reading these posts, you have some great friends in your midst. Best of Luck!
ReplyDelete"What you think of me is none of my business." Wayne Dyer
ReplyDeleteWords are not hurtful, they’re just words. It's the power that we assign to them that hurt us. It’s the intent that we attach to the expression. It’s the emotion that we inflict upon ourselves are based on our perception. However emotion and interpretation is based on your past, not your future or what your expectations of yourself are or can be.
Make your peace with what he's said and accept any facts. Perhaps you are “obese”, you should know if you wake up everyday and see yourself. How stupid of someone to point out the obvious. You also have a nose, did he mention that too? Obesity is not a life sentence unless you want it to be.
Whatever you want to do, you are alive and can figure out a way or find the direction you need to do it. You’re not the first person who wants to accomplish your goal and who has a stumbling block or two to clear before you get there.
Anything worth having requires work, if you see yourself doing something differently than you have been, then see YOURSELF accomplishing that goal. Other people don't know you like you know yourself, their perception of you and the world will always be colored by their own views and experiences.
He said something that was hurtful to you for whatever reason. Who knows what his motivation was. When you go out in the world, know your own motivation. Know your own goals and your own expectations of yourself. Have faith that your path is not determined by some trainer or anyone else. Accept what's there and make the necessary changes if need be, and then move on. If it doesn’t benefit you, then is it really worth dwelling on?
You want a helpful tip? Schedule your negative thoughts and hurt feelings. Take maybe 20 minutes out of your day to be completely ruled by emotion and feel whatever you want to feel. Beat yourself up, beat him up, whatever. However, for the last 2-5 minutes you have to be thankful for what you have and the opportunities given to you. For the rest of the day whenever something comes up, you can remind yourself that you have a scheduled time to deal with that and move on. Put his words in a box, take them out and deal with them during the scheduled time and soon enough, the emotions tied to them won’t be there anymore. It’ll be something else…there’s always something else. But in the end, don’t let your emotions or hurt feelings stop you from moving forward in life because you chose to dwell on them.
Marla, more verbose than most.
Let me tell you a story about how powerful "words" are: when I met you on Sunday I was mad impressed that you were doing triathlons and had only just learned how to swim. I started thinking, well, hm, I've always loved swimming, I bike a little already, and I'm working on being a runner, maybe I should get out there and step it up and do a triathlon, too.
ReplyDeleteDon't let that one man steal your thunder cause then who will I look to for inspiration?
Don't let that douchebag overshadow all the incredible good you are doing in your life.
ReplyDeleteI totally get what you say about words being powerful because I have a tendency to take things said in passing to heart and sometimes even remember that hurtful things years later. It's been a life long battle to get past that insecurity. I think you are doing amazing things and I'll be here cheering you on as you do them.
You are an inspiration. Don't let anyone take that away from you.
ReplyDeleteBecca...
ReplyDeleteWHenevr you are doing something positive or life changing, naysayers pop up and try to throw salt in your game. When folks can't see themselves achieving or reaching for a goal...they try to tear the individual down or make it seem like your achivement is not that big a deal.
You already know what it took to train and complete a triathalon. You are a winner.
Do not let anyone take that victory and hard work away from you. You inspire me and I have never met you :)
Think about how insecure with himself he had to be to try and tear down your achievement to make himself feel better that day. He's a loser.
Nineteen69
Becca,
ReplyDeleteIf it wasn't for you, TravelDiva, Bk and the other "virtual" trainers I follow/followed, I wouldn't keep running.
YOu are nothing but an inspiration and helps me to keep going and would like to complete a 10k soon and maybe get like you and do the damn thing.
People always projecting what they can't\won't do off on someone who can\will\did do. Keep it moving so I have a goal to catch up to, thanks dimples :)
akilah
I love what Anonymous/Marla said. I'm going to take her advice to heart and you should, too.
ReplyDeleteYou see this here? THIS is your support system, so please don't allow one idiot to stop you from doing something you obviously enjoy. I look forward to the info about your triathlons and the big day! Most of all I look forward to the excitement in your voice and that gorgeous smile on your face when you achieve your goals! You keep doing your thing, girl.
ReplyDeleteI'd suggest getting another trainer, too.
ReplyDeleteGirl fugg him..... Im with onefromphilly.....let's beat that azz!!!!
ReplyDeleteGo pick up Walter Hawkins & The Love Alive Center Choir - Love Alive 5 CD and listen to "Marvelous" while you train. Apply those words to yourself.
ReplyDelete