Winning = earning the medal

Training for a 1/2 Ironman has been one of the most mentally challenging things that I have done so far. It has taken more than just training and learning how to fuel properly. More than ever before, I have had to have the "you can do it, if you really want to do it" talks with myself. There were days when I just stayed in bed or on the couch, because my mind believed that training that day would not make me any faster or more fit. On many days, I thought "What's the sense? What does it matter? What will this ONE training do to help me?". There were days that I went out to swim and could not get my heart rate to come down. Today I went for a run and the ugly shin splints returned. The shin splints decided to return just NINE days before the race!?!? WTH???  I was determined to not let it get me down. I came up with a plan after realizing what could have caused the shin pain to return. It has been HARD. It has been harder to just get my mind right, than it has been to complete any 56 mile ride, 2000 meter swim or 13.1 mile run. But, I am stronger as a result of training for this race. Mentally stronger.

I know that I can finish this race on June 10th. I know that I can finish all 3 legs of the race before the cut off times. I know that if I keep my heart rate low during the 1.2 mile swim, keep a manageable pace, eat and hydrate on the 56 mile bike and if I consistently do a 4:1 or 3:1 run/walk for the 13.1 mile run, then I can finish before the total race cut off time. I KNOW this. I BELIEVE this. I don't have doubts, per se, I just don't feel as fit as I want to feel going into the race. Am I excited? Absolutely not. I'm nervous. I'm nervous, because I don't know what to expect since I have not done this distance of a race before. I'm nervous because I won't have my usual racing buddies with me or my usual cheering squad out there being my "race day stalkers/paparazzi". I have been trying to get used to training alone and racing alone and being okay if there are no familiar faces out there on race day. But it has been tough. Mentally tough.

I am going to race on June 10th. I am going to follow my race day plan for pacing myself, hydration and nutrition. I am going to WIN, which in my mind, is earning that medal when I cross the finish line. I will pretend that every cheer I hear is really just for me. I will be fine. I will be tough. Mentally tough. I will have the mind of a Champion... because, in my mind, I am a Champion.

Tri Becca